Pasta la vista baby!

• The Italian classic, shaped like miniature cock n’ balls
• Goes wonderfully with meatballs and a comically long chorizo sausage
• Try not to overcook it – no one enjoys overly soft penis pasta
• [Insert tasteless joke about homemade white sauce]
• Lovely 200g bag of dicks – is there a better gift?

So many good pasta shapes out there: Farfalle, Fusill, Rigatoni, Conchiglie, Penne.

That last one, Penne. Curiously similar in spelling and pronunciation to the Italian word for penis – ‘pene’. To avoid any unnecessary confusion, some kinky chef did the decent thing and created Penis Pasta, and what a joy it is to behold.

The Italian classic has been given a wonderful phallic makeover and it’s guaranteed to be a hit at meal times. Novelty looks aside, it’s willy delicious.